Sexy Evil Clashes With Two FlatChested Blondes!
by MarsFireSoul2500
Summary: Sailor Lead Crow's arrival


Lead Crow snickered.  
Sailor Lead Crow: Eternal Sailor Moon... Pitiful!  
Hotaru: And just who are you!  
Sailor Lead Crow: Jeez, gimme a second to introduce myself! Imatient bitch...  
Hotaru crossed her arms.  
Haruka: Natazu...  
Sailor Lead Crow: I am Sailor Lead Crow! And I'm here to kill all of you!  
Haruka let out a high pitched scream. Hotaru and Usagi gasped.  
Usagi: Another Sailor Senshi!  
Hotaru: She can't be! She's evil!  
Usagi turned toward Lead Crow.  
Usagi: How do you know I'm Eternal Sailor Moon!  
Haruka moved in front of Usagi and glared at Lead Crow. Hotaru pushed into Haruka.  
Hotaru: Hey, hey, the only staring will be done by ME! The stare master!  
Haruka: Sheddep...  
She growled. Haruka walked away, pinching Usagi's butt on her way.  
Usagi: -ACK!  
Crow took this opportunity to strike. Her long whip lashed at the three teenage girls, cracking loudly. Haruka danced about, narrowly missing every attack brought on by the cruel woman.  
Haruka: I learned all this from Michi!  
She boasted, prancing about like a woodland fairy. Haruka laughed and snorted. Lead Crow became highly angered at Haruka's lack of seriousness. By then, Haruka was twirling Usagi. The two girls giggled as they danced.  
Hotaru: Hey! Don't forget me! Dance with me, too!  
Sailor Lead Crow: DO YOU MIND! I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU, HERE!  
Just then, a suped up porsch sped by the park entrance.  
Haruka: Oooh, a porsch!  
She let go of Usagi and ran after the admired car. About twenty seconds later, Haruka came back driving the vehicle at and incredibly high speed and ran over Hotaru.  
Sailor Lead Crow: HAHAHAHAH! ONE DOWN!  
Usagi: Hotaru-chan!  
Haruka: Oops...

Stars title screen and title music  
Sailor Moon Stars  
Sexy Evil Clashes With Two Flat-Chested Blondes!  
The Weird Battle!

Sailor Lead Crow descended upon Haruka and Usagi with her whip drawn.  
Haruka: Oh my...  
Sailor Lead Crow: Damn Sailor Senshi!  
Haruka laughed.  
Sailor Lead Crow: I'll punish you all!  
Haruka: NOT IF I CAN HELP IT! HA!  
Sailor Lead Crow whipped Haruka hard in the butt.  
Haruka: Owwwwwww!  
Haruka rubbed her ass  
Haruka: Damn... PUNISH ME SISTAH!  
Sailor Lead Crow jumped up and landed in front of Usagi.  
Sailor Lead Crow: DIE!  
She whipped Usagi across the face, leaving a big scar across her face as tears ran down her cheeks.  
Haruka: Bahaha  
Usagi: GAH! WATCH IT! OO  
Haruka slipped between Usagi and Lead Crow.  
Haruka: Leave her alone, Betch!  
Lead Crow grew angry and clenched her whip. She raised it above her head. Haruka watched the whip. Lead Crow laughed and kicked Haruka in the crotch.  
Haruka: That's it!  
She screamed, as she pulled her vibrator from her pocket.  
Haruka: URANUS PLA--  
Usagi: Pssst! Haruka-san!  
Haruka: SHEDDEP! IM TRANSFORMING!  
Usagi: That's not your transformation stick!  
Haruka looked at the object in her hand.  
Haruka: ACK!  
Lead Crow and Usagi sighed. Haruka reached back into her pocket and this time she pulled out her transformation stick.  
Haruka: HA! URANUS PLANET POWER!  
Usagi then backed away a bit, and ran behind a tree to transform into Eternal Sailor Moon. When she had finished, she ran out and stood by Sailor Uranus' side.  
Eternal Sailor Moon: HEY! Leave us alone!  
She yelled, pointing her wand at Lead Crow and giving a serious glare. Lead Crow just chuckled and pulled out a black hole capsule.  
Super Sailor Uranus: What the fuck!  
Sailor Lead Crow: You have only one choice! Be my Ho's or I'm gonna kill you!  
Super Sailor Uranus: Oh crap! Sailor Moon, save us!  
She shouted, hiding behind Eternal Sailor Moon.  
Eternal Sailor Moon: Wussy...  
Sailor Lead Crow whipped Eternal Sailor Moon, this time hitting her backwards.  
Super Sailor Uranus: URANUS WORLD SHAKING!  
Lead Crow avoided Uranus' attack and slid right into her, knocking her down. She stood above Uranus, laughing evilly, then stepped on her chest, pinning her to the ground.  
Super Sailor Uranus: AHHHHHH!  
Sailor Lead Crow: I think Sailor Moon would agree with me that Uranus is a Sailor Urawuss! HAHAHAHA!  
Super Sailor Uranus: Dewd... Really bad joke...  
Sailor Lead Crow: Sorry...  
Lead Crow pushed her foot down on Uranus' chest.  
Super Sailor Uranus: AHHHHHHH!  
Sailor Lead Crow: Don't worry... It's not like I'm squishing anything.  
Just then, Eternal Sailor Moon dove into Lead Crow, knocking both of them on their butts. Sailor Uranus got up and kicked Lead Crow in the gut.  
Super Sailor Uranus: You one cent whore! You don't mess with the Rukes master!  
Sailor Lead Crow just smiled and held out her hand with the capsule in it towards Eternal Sailor Moon. She threatened to toss it at Eternal Sailor Moon so she would be engulfed in nothingness forever.  
Sailor Lead Crow: I'll do it!  
Super Sailor Uranus: NO! DON'T!  
Eternal Sailor Moon: I'll never give you what you want! I'll never surrender my body to you! Unless you provide me with a lifetime of-  
Super Sailor Uranus: NO, Sailor Moon! Don't go to her! You're welcome to visit me and Michiru anytime for some sweet lovin'!  
Eternal Sailor Moon: OK!  
Uranus and Moon hugged, then started making out.  
Sailor Lead Crow: Enough! GALACTICA TORNADO!  
Eternal Sailor Moon got blasted. She flew into a wall, letting go of her wand as she screamed.  
Super Sailor Uranus: OO! Sailor Moon!  
Eternal Sailor Moon: --GAH!  
Lead Crow jumped on Sailor Uranus, lifted her skirt and started eating her out.  
Super Sailor Uranus: GET HER, SAILOR MOON, WITH THAT PRETTY WAND OF YOURS!  
Lead Crow lifted her head and told Uranus that Eternal Sailor Moon dropped it when she was blasted. Sailor Uranus pushed Lead Crow back down. Eternal Sailor Moon opened her eyes and tried to move.  
Eternal Sailor Moon: I can't... I am to hurted...  
Super Sailor Uranus: Oh...  
Lead Crow worked her way up to Uranus' chest.  
Sailor Lead Crow: OH NO! I guess I really did flatten them!  
Sailor Uranus punched Crow in the face and threw her off. Sailor Lead Crow was really pissed off and killed Sailor Uranus right then and there. Eternal Sailor Moon began moving around on the ground where she lay. Lead Crow remembered the black hole capsule and noticed she was no longer in possession of it.  
Sailor Lead Crow: CRAP! I must've dropped it!  
Eternal Sailor Moon rose up and grabbed her wand. Lead Crow was down on her knees searching for the capsule. Eternal Sailor Moon spotted the capsule near Lead Crow's foot. Sailor Lead Crow noticed Eternal Sailor Moon was up and stared at her. Suddenly, Makoto walked by carrying a box of home-made cookies, followed by Ami and Minako.  
Makoto: If I would have known in advance, I wouldn't have made cookies shaped like lips. What's this new boy gonna think, huh!  
Minako and Ami stopped walking. Makoto noticed that they weren't following her anymore.  
Makoto: Huh!  
Minako: Cookies shaped like lips!  
Ami: That's kinda weird...  
Minako: She must be after some new guy...  
Makoto: That's not true!  
Eternal Sailor Moon and Lead Crow ignored them and continued.  
Sailor Lead Crow: Stupid boy...  
Eternal Sailor Moon: I at least have boobs, unlike Uranus.  
Sailor Lead Crow: Seems I have lost the capsule... But that doesn't mean I can't still kill you. Because I will. SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!  
Eternal Sailor Moon panicked and flashed Lead Crow. Crow covered her eyes and backed up, screaming. She stepped on the capsule and it cracked open.  
Sailor Lead Crow: AHH! NO!  
A black hole quickly formed and engulfed Sailor Lead Crow, trapping her inside to die a slow death. Eternal Sailor Moon grinned a bit as she walked slowly closer, but not too close.  
Eternal Sailor Moon: Now yer gonna get it.  
Sailor Lead Crow: A- Am I going to die?  
Eternal Sailor Moon: Jeez... I sure hope so...  
Sailor Lead Crow: But... I'm expected at the strip club tonight...  
Crow closed her eyes as streams of tears flowed from them.  
Sailor Lead Crow: I'm goning to miss... Happy Hour at the bar...  
The pressure inside the black hole forced Crow into a curled position.  
Eternal Sailor Moon: If you want me to save you, you'll have to do something for me.  
Sailor Lead Crow: What could you possibly want from my life! I'm dying!  
Eternal Sailor Moon: Oh... Umm... Gimme the vibrator you stole from Haruka-san!  
Sailor Lead Crow tossed the vibrator out of the black hole. Eternal Sailor Moon picked it up and shoved it inside herself, then ran around in circles like an idiot. Suddenly, the black hole began to get smaller and smaller. Eternal Sailor Moon came running back to Crow's prison with a bunch of cloured confetti in hand and threw it into the black hole.  
Sailor Lead Crow: AAH! DON'T JUST THROW CONFETTI AT ME! GET ME OUTTA HERE!  
Eternal Sailor Moon reluctantly stuck her hands into the black hole and grabbed Lead Crow's hair. She pulled and pulled, but Crow wouldn't budge.  
Sailor Lead Crow: YAAAA! THAT HUUURTS!  
Eternal Sailor Moon let go and the black hole disappeared along with Crow.  
Haruka: Boo frickin' hoo!  
She turned to Haruka, surprised.  
Eternal Sailor Moon: I thought you died.

THE END

Usagi: Today on "Sailor Moon", we kicked Lead Crow's butt! HAHAHA!  
Haruka: Yeah! We kicked it good! And then she died!  
Usagi: And only in "Sailor Moon" can we bring dead Sailor Senshi back to life. So, you're lucky, Haruka-san, otherwise, you'd be in deep dog crap for running over Hotaru-chan.  
Haruka: I thought SHE was the bad guy! How was I supposed to know!  
Usagi: Well, the spaghetti was in the pot, so it was pretty obvious who's side Hotaru-chan was on! Eternal Sailor Moon says!


End file.
